Something weird happens to a lot of women in their 30s, 40s, and 50s.

It’s not dramatic.

It's not a full blown mental breakdown.

And it's not rock bottom.

It’s a tiny thought that sneaks in when you've been dieting and trying to lose weight for what seems to feel like an eternity...

“Why does this feel so hard… even when I’m doing everything right?”

You’ve counted calories.

You’ve cleaned up your eating.

You’ve joined gyms, tried classes, downloaded apps, and followed same plan as everyone is your office.

And you’re definitely not opposed to putting in effort when it required.

But what’s new is this low level exhaustion you now feel because it seems like this will never end.

With every new diet you always lose a few pounds, but then life happens.

😣 Work gets stressful.

😪 Sleep gets off.

👶🏻 Someone needs you.

And suddenly you’re back to telling yourself:

“I just need to get back on track.”

That sentence alone should tell you something.

If all those diets really worked the way we’ve been told, you wouldn’t need to keep “getting back” to anything.

What I want you to consider is what if the problem isn’t your motivation, your discipline, or your willpower?

What if the real issue is that you’ve been trying to force yourself to follow a weight loss approach that were never designed for your specific lifestyle?

Most diets are built for a version of you that probably only existed when you were in your 20s...

A version of you that had endless amounts of energy.

A version of you that never had stress.

A version of you that had ZERO responsibilities.

A version of you who could center her entire life around food and workouts.

That version might have existed once.

Or maybe she never did.

Either way, you’re not her now.

And pretending you should be is what keeps you from not only losing weight you wanna lose but actually being able to keep it off for good.

There’s a massive gap between what most women are told to do to lose weight and what actually fits into their lifestyle.

That gap is where frustration lives.

That gap is where guilt grows.

That gap is where so many develop this belief that something must be wrong with them.

I know this because I lived it.

I didn’t struggle to lose weight because I didn’t try hard enough.

I struggled because I tried so hard to make something work that didn’t honor my humanity.

And that’s the part no one prepares you for when you want to lose weight.

You’re told that if you want results, you have to be strict.

That a small mess up is a sign of weakness.

That "taking it easy" means you’re not serious.

So do most of us do?

You push harder.

You override hunger.

You ignore fatigue.

You power through stress.

And you convince yourself this is just what commitment feels like.

Until one day you realize your relationship with food, your body, and yourself is completely f*cked.

That realization is uncomfortable, but it’s also it is powerful.

It opens the door to a different question.

Not:

“How do I try harder?”

But:

“What if this isn’t the right approach for me anymore?”

That question changes everything.

It creates space for something most women have never been offered in the fitness world:

→ A way to pursue fat loss without constantly being at war with themselves.

The opportunity I want to show you in this letter isn’t a new diet.

It’s a new perspective.

A chance to stop proving you’re disciplined enough.

A chance to stop forcing progress through pressure.

A chance to build something that fits your actually lifestyle, not an idealized version of it.

You don’t need another diet.

You don’t need another burst of motivation.

You don’t need to become more strict than you probably already are.

What you need is permission to do this whole weight loss thing differently.

To stop chasing short-term results and start building long-term trust.

To stop asking, “Can I stick to this?”

And start asking, “Can I live like this?”

That shift is the beginning of sustainable fat loss.

And more importantly, it’s the beginning of peace.

If you’ve ever felt like you were doing everything right but still losing yourself in the process, keep reading because the problem was never you to begin with.

If You’ve Ever Been Trying To Follow A Diet But Keep Thinking,

“Why can everyone else do this but me?”

I want to be very clear about something.

The problem isn’t your follow-through.

The problem is the diet.

Most mainstream diets are built around one core assumption:

That you should be able to control yourself indefinitely.

Control your hunger.

Control your schedule.

Control your stress.

Control your social life.

Control your body.

That assumption sounds reasonable on the surface.

Until you actually try to control all those things and realize that it's nearly impossible.

Problem #1: Diets Reward Obedience, Not Sustainability

Most diets work as long as you can follow them exactly as prescribed.

🫵🏼 Eat this.

🫵🏼 Avoid that.

🫵🏼 Hit these numbers.

🫵🏼 Don’t mess up.

And when you do follow the rules, you often do get rewarded at first.

The scale does moves.

Your clothes do fit differently.

And people do notice.

But this is where the trap gets set.

Because what’s actually being reinforced isn’t health.

It’s obedience.

The diet never asks:

Can you do this when you’re exhausted?

Can you do this during a stressful season of life?

Can you do this when life isn’t as calm or predictable as you'd like?

It only asks:

Can you comply?

And compliance is easy when life is slow.

But it’s brutal when life is hectic.

So when life feels like it's literally about to fall apart into a millions tiny little pieces (and trust me it will feel like that multiple times throughout your life), the diet NEVER takes responsibility.

You do.

Problem #2: “More Motivation” Is the Wrong Prescription

When progress stalls, the advice from mainstream health and fitness is almost always the same:

🤬 Try harder.

🤬 Be more consistent.

🤬 Want it more.

But here’s what rarely gets acknowledged.

Motivation is a finite resource.

It gets drained by:

🥱 Poor sleep

😩 Emotional stress

😮‍💨 Decision fatigue

🤕 Caregiving

😬 Work pressure

🙃 Hormonal shifts

And for women in their 30s, 40s, & 50s, those things with most likely drain your motivation on a daily bases.

So when a diet requires maximum motivation at all times, it’s just straight up unrealistic.

I learned this the hard way.

I used to think I never lacked motivation.

I would restrict my food more than anyone.

I would workout more than anyone.

And I ignored all the signals that something wasn’t right because I thought that’s what being committed looked like.

On the outside, it looked like I was motivated and dedicated to getting the results I wanted.

But on the inside, I was slowly digging myself a whole it felt like I'd never be able to climb out of.

That’s when I realized something important:

👉🏼 If motivation is the only thing holding your progress together, burnout is inevitable.

Problem #3: Restriction Creates Obsession

Most diets teach you to override your body.

Hunger becomes something to fight.

Cravings become something to suppress.

Fatigue becomes something to push through.

And for a while, you can actually do all those things.

But your body keeps score.

The more you restrict, the louder food becomes.

The more rules you follow, the more mental energy food takes up.

The more you try to control your eating, the more eating controls your thoughts.

When you consistently ignore the natural signals your body is giving you, you don't learn to trust them.

You learn to fear them.

And eventually, your body responds by pulling you harder in the opposite direction.

That’s why so many women feel “out of control” after years of dieting and trying to lose weight.

Not because they are broken.

Because their body is trying to protect them.

Problem #4: The Fitness Industry Glorifies Extremes

Scroll long enough on Instagram and you’ll see it.

Perfect routines.

Perfect meals.

Perfect bodies.

But what you don’t see is:

The mental cost.

The social cost.

The reality of what it takes to maintain that.

And the years of living with an invisible eating disorder.

Extreme approaches look impressive.

But they're not sustainable.

And yet, they’re held up as the standard.

So you assume:

“If that’s what it takes, I guess I’m just not cut out for this.”

But the truth is:

Most of those approaches aren’t designed to be maintained.

They’re designed to be marketed.

There’s a difference.

Problem #5: Women Are Blamed When Diets Fail

This might be the most damaging part of all.

When a diet stops working, the message isn’t:

“This approach may not be appropriate for you.”

It’s always:

“You didn’t stick to it.”

“You must not want it badly enough.”

“You fell off.”

So you internalize failure that isn’t theirs.

You lose trust in yourselves.

You stop believing your body’s natural signals.

You assume struggle and sacrifice are just part of the deal.

But what you don't realize it that belief follows you into every new weight loss attempt.

Problem #6: Reality Is Ignored

Most diets were never built with you in mind.

They don't account for:

🙃 Hormonal shifts

🥱 Sleep disruption

😣 Increased stress load

💪🏻 Caregiving roles

😪 Emotional labor

🤕 Reduced recovery capacity

So you try to apply 25-year-old weight loss approaches to a 45-year-old lifestyle.

And when that doesn’t work, you always assume something is wrong with their metabolism.

Or your willpower.

Or your body.

The truth is a lot simpler than that.

Almost every diet is outdated.

And forcing yourself to follow them it is what is keeping you stuck in the same cycle of losing and gaining the same 20 pounds over and over.

The Real Problem Beneath All of This

It’s that most diets ask you to sacrifice peace for progress.

And that trade-off is never sustainable.

If you have to become someone you aren't just to get results, those results will always be temporary.

At Some Point, After Enough Cycles of Dieting, Failing, Starting Another Diet, and Blaming Yourself, A Different Realization Starts To Form.

If the only way diets work is by constantly fighting yourself, then something about the approach is wrong.

That was my turning point.

Not when I learned more about macros.

Not when I found a better workout split.

Not when I became more disciplined.

It was the moment I realized I had built results on top of fear.

😬 Fear of gaining weight.

😬 Fear of missing workouts.

😬 Fear of eating the “wrong” foods.

😬 Fear of losing control.

From the outside, it looked like commitment.

From the inside, it felt like I was trapped by my diet.

And that’s when the real question hit me:

"If this is what it takes to maintain results, is this actually health?"

That question changed everything for me.

Once you see that the cost of trying to follow a diet is peace, you can’t unsee it.

This Changed My Entire Approach To Weight Loss

Most women are taught that if you want to lose weight, you have to be as strict as possible.

Here’s what actually leads to sustainable results:

“If it isn’t something you can FOREVER, it isn’t effective.”

That single sentence reframes the entire process.

Weight loss stops being about how hard you can push.

And it starts being about how well something fits into:

📆 Your schedule.

🔋 Your energy.

🧘🏼‍♀️ Your stress levels.

🧹 Your responsibilities.

🙂 Your preferences.

This is where most diets break down.

They don’t fail because the science is wrong.

They fail because they aren't design with real life in mind.

The Goal Isn’t to Be Better at Dieting

This is where my approach differs from every other mainstream weight loss approach.

The goal is not to become better at following rules.

The goal is to stop needing rigid rules in the first place just to lose weight.

Diets teach you dependency.

They teach you to rely on external structure instead of internal understanding.

My work is about the opposite.

It’s about helping you build:

• Awareness instead of obsession

• Structure without rigidity

• Flexibility without chaos

• Consistency without punishment

When those things are in place, fat loss becomes a byproduct, not a battle.

Why This Works When Other Things Haven’t

Most women aren't able to lose weight not because they don’t know what to do.

But because they can’t sustain how they’re being asked to do it.

So instead of asking,

“How do I get you to stick to the plan?”

I ask,

“How do we build a plan that doesn’t require you to stick to it through force?”

That’s a completely different question.

And it leads to a completely different solution.

One that respects:

• Your varying seasons of life

• Your nervous system

• Your need for flexibility

• Your desire to enjoy your life now, not someday

Sustainable Weight Loss Isn’t About Doing Less. It’s About Doing What Matters

A lot of women worry that if they stop being strict, they’ll lose control.

What actually happens is the exact opposite.

When you remove unnecessary rules, you free up energy.

When you stop fighting your body, you get clearer signals.

When you focus on the fundamentals, progress becomes steadier.

This approach doesn’t ask you to lower your standards.

It actually asks you to raise them.

Because real success isn’t just weight loss.

It’s maintaining results without living in constant vigilance.

Why I Coach the Way I Do

I didn’t choose this approach because it’s trendy.

I chose it because I lived the exact opposite.

I know what it feels like to do everything “right” and still feel wrong.

I know what it costs to prioritize fat loss over peace.

I know how easy it is to confuse control with commitment.

And I also know that if someone like me could end up burned out and disconnected from their body, then the system—not the person—is the problem.

That’s why I coach differently.

I don’t coach women to "push harder."

I coach them to stop fighting themselves.

I don’t promise speed.

I promise sustainability.

I don’t sell extremes.

I build systems that fit real lives.

The Real Solution

The real solution you've been looking for isn’t another new diet.

It’s a new relationship with the process.

One where:

• Food isn’t the enemy

• Flexibility isn’t failure

• Rest isn’t laziness

• Progress doesn’t require suffering

Fat loss becomes something you support, not something you force.

And when that shift happens, everything changes.

When I'm Talking To A Potential Client About Following A More Flexible & Sustainable Approach to Fat Loss, There’s Often Quit A Bit of Hesitation.

They want to believe it.

But they’ve been burned so many time before by past diets.

So the real question becomes:

“What actually changes if I do this differently?”

The answer is:

A lot more than the number on the scale.

Physical Benefits: Progress Without the Rebound

Yes, fat loss still happens.

But it looks different than what you’re used to.

Instead of sharp drops followed by stalls and rebounds, progress becomes steadier. Less dramatic. And more predictable.

Your body isn’t constantly stressed out so it responds more calmly.

You may notice:

• Weight coming off at a pace that feels boring, but reliable

• Fewer plateaus caused by burnout

• Strength increasing without feeling run down

• Energy that doesn’t crash halfway through the day

Your body will stop feeling like something you have to manage and it will start to feeling like something you can work with.

Mental Benefits: Quieting the Food Noise

This is the benefit most women don’t expect—but end up valuing the most.

When you stop fighting food, food stops controlling your life.

No more constant mental math.

No more guilt after meals.

No more replaying what you ate and what you “should have done differently.”

Instead, you gain clarity.

You know:

• What actually moves the needle for you

• What matters and what doesn’t

• How to make adjustments without spiraling

Decision-making gets easier.

Not because you care less.

Because you understand more.

That mental space is freeing.

And it changes how you show up in every area of your life.

Emotional Benefits: Rebuilding Trust With Yourself

Years of dieting teaches you one thing really well:

You can't trust yourself.

This approach reverses that.

You STOP outsourcing your confidence to a diet.

And you START building it through experience.

Each week you follow through without forcing it.

Each adjustment you make without guilt attached to it.

Ever moment continue to you choose progress over perfection.

And over time, something shifts.

You stop needing motivation.

You stop fearing “off” days.

You stop feeling like one choice can undo everything.

And you start trust yourself again.

That trust is what creates consistency.

Lifestyle Benefits: Results That Fit Real Life

One of the biggest signs something is actually working is when you no longer feel like you have tp escape form it.

You can:

• Go out to dinner without stress

• Enjoy weekends without damage control

• Travel without starting over one you get back

• Handle busy weeks without quitting

Fat loss stops being a separate project in your life.

And it starts becoming just part of how you live.

That’s the difference between something that works in theory and something that works in practice.

Identity Benefits: Becoming the Woman Who Follows Through

This approach doesn’t just change what you do.

It changes who you become.

You’re no longer:

• The woman who is “always trying”

• The woman who is “good or bad” with food

• The woman who restarts every Monday

You become the woman who adjusts.

The woman who understands her body.

The woman who doesn’t panic when life gets messy.

Maintenance stops feeling like a finish line and it becomes a skill.

That’s what creates long-term success.

The Unexpected Benefit: Peace

This is the part no one puts in the before-and-after photos.

Peace around food.

Peace around your body.

Peace around your choices.

You don’t feel like you’re constantly behind.

You don’t feel like you’re failing at self-care.

You don’t feel like your best years are gone.

You feel capable.

Grounded.

And in control, without being controlling.

And that’s the real win.

Fat loss that costs your peace is never worth it.

But fat loss that restores it?

That’s life-changing.

When People Hear Words Like Flexible, Sustainable, or Lifestyle-Based, The First Fear That Pops Up Is Usually This:

“That sounds nice… but what do I actually do?”

And honestly... thats valid.

Most women have spent years bouncing between rigid plans that burn them out and vague advice that leaves them stuck

So let me be clear.

This approach isn’t loose.

It isn’t hands-off.

And it isn’t “just listen to your body and hope for the best.”

It’s structured.

It’s intentional.

And it’s built around fundamentals that work because they’re adaptable.

The difference is that the structure supports your life instead of competing with it.

The Foundation: Fundamentals Over Hacks

Instead of chasing shortcuts, your fat loss approach should be built on a few non-negotiables that never change, no matter your age, schedule, or starting point.

Principles scale with your life.

Rules break when life gets busy.

The goal is to create steady fat loss while protecting your energy, mindset, and consistency.

Everything flows from that.

1️⃣ - Nutrition Built for Real Life, Not Perfection

You don’t need a diet you’ll quit in two weeks.

You need clarity.

Your weight loss approach should focus on:

• A realistic calorie range, not a rigid target

• Adequate protein to support muscle, metabolism, and satiety

• Balanced meals you can repeat without boredom

• Flexibility for social events, travel, and stress

Instead of asking,

“Did I follow the plan perfectly?”

You learn to ask,

“Did I hit the things that actually matter?”

That one shift removes guilt and builds momentum.

2️⃣ - Strength Training Without Intimidation

Your weight loss approach shouldn't be about living in the gym.

And it’s not about training like you’re preparing for a bodybuilding competition.

Strength training is about:

• Preserving and building lean muscle

• Supporting metabolism

• Feeling strong, capable, and confident

• Improving how your body looks and functions

Workouts should be designed around:

• Your schedule

• Your experience level

• Your recovery capacity

Consistency matters more than intensity here.

And progress comes from showing up, not destroying yourself every workout.

3️⃣ - Movement That Supports Energy Instead of Draining It

You don’t need endless amounts of cardio.

You don’t need to “earn” your food.

And you don’t need to punish your body for what you ate.

Your movement should have a purpose:

• Increase daily activity in ways that feel doable

• Support fat loss without adding stress

• Improve mood, sleep, and recovery

This might look like:

• Daily steps

• Short walks

• Light activity on busy days

• Training sessions that leave you energized, not depleted

Movement becomes something that gives back instead of something you dread.

4️⃣ - Habit Design That Works on Your Worst Days

Most diets only work on good days.

Your fat loss plan should be built for:

• Busy weeks

• Low-energy seasons

• Emotional stress

• Inconsistent schedules

Instead of relying on motivation, you build:

• Simple routines

• Minimum effective actions

• Fallback plans that keep you moving forward

You stop asking,

“Can I do this perfectly?”

And start asking,

“What’s the next best choice today?”

That’s how consistency actually sticks.

5️⃣ - Mindset and Identity: The Glue That Holds Everything Together

This is the piece every diet ignores.

And it’s why most diets fail.

Your fat loss approach shouldn't just be about what you eat or how you train.

It’s supposed to be about how you think when things aren’t perfect.

Your fat loss approach should help you:

• Stop labeling days as good or bad

• Stop attaching your worth to the scale

• Stop spiraling when plans change

You learn to respond instead of react.

And over time, your identity shifts.

You’re no longer someone who “tries to be consistent.”

You’re someone who knows how to adjust.

That’s the difference between temporary success and long-term results.

6️⃣ - Feedback Over Failure

Nothing here is pass or fail.

Every outcome gives you information.

Weight didn’t change?

We adjust.

Energy feels low?

We look at recovery, not discipline.

Life got busy?

We simplify, not quit.

This removes fear.

And fear is what keeps most women stuck.

When there’s no punishment for imperfection, progress speeds up.

How This All Comes Together

Your fat loss approach should never be about doing everything at once.

It’s about building layers.

First, clarity.

Then consistency.

Then confidence.

Each phase reinforces the next.

If You’ve Made It This Far, There’s A Good Chance Something Has Clicked For You.

But before we talk about what to do next, I want to say this clearly:

You don’t need to decide to change everything today.

You don’t need to overhaul your life.

You don’t need to commit to a perfect plan tomorrow.

And you don’t need to prove anything to anyone else.

What you do need is to stop doing the things that keep pulling you back into the same cycle of endless diets.

Once you see that the issue isn’t your effort—but the approach—it becomes really hard to keep forcing yourself down the same road.

If you need help, shoot me a msg [HERE].

We’ll look at where you are, what your life actually looks like, and whether this approach makes sense for you.

If it does, I’ll tell you what the next step could look like for you.

If it doesn’t, I’ll be honest about that too.

Either way, you’ll leave with clarity instead of more questions.

When you’re ready, reach out.

Much love,

Coach Anthony